Shameless: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 3) Read online

  Throwing my hands outward I pour magic into the air, willing it to find a place that is not me. Create something new. But the gate I pushed through is still open, and I can’t pull it back. New magic pours in and fills up the space. I’m a conduit and nothing more.

  Help. I send the word outward towards that place where the Goddess’s whispers live. Help me.

  Skin collides with mine. One arm wrapped around my waist and another cradling my face. There’s a voice in my ear. “Find your own magic Kari. Find it.”

  That means going deeper into the storm of power, and that will destroy what I have left. I feel like I’m unraveling. What happens when you get consumed by magic? Do you die or do you become a part of that magic too? Death like this might be less painful. I shake my head.

  “Find it.”

  The words clear my mind for a moment of the golden, glittery haze. There. A flash of the violet. I reach for it and manage to hold it. Spin it around my hands and keep it close. It’s barely anything in comparison to that storm, but suddenly I can breathe again because holding my magic makes me let go of all the rest of it.

  I hadn’t even realized that I was gathering it to myself and keeping it there. The core of power collapses in on itself, back to the glowing, infinite ember. My knees buckle, but I’m held upright. The rest of the power is still sizzling under my skin with nowhere to go—far too much for a human. It’s pouring out of me and into him, but it’s still not enough of a diversion to save me.

  “Make something,” the voice says. “Anything.”

  I don’t even think, or it feels like I don’t. There’s a cracking sound like thunder, and shaking. I manage to open my eyes to see the tree. It was the first thing that popped into my head. A giant, weeping tree in full bloom. The colors of the blossoms come from every corner of the spectrum, and the branches bow to create a curtain around us. Brae and I.

  It’s Brae holding me. Grounding me.

  Beneath our feet the stone of the labyrinth is cracked and broken to make way for the trunk of the tree, and it’s still growing. As it does, the storming power in me subsides, channeling into the plant.

  I sag into Brae’s arms when it’s gone. I’m whole, but I might not have been, if he hadn’t helped. And the most frightening thing is that I wasn’t afraid. Yet another moment where I had to choose, though I wasn’t prompted. It could have been easy to fade into the magic and completely let go. I’m still hazy now, the aftermath of it swimming behind my eyes.

  Brae pulled me back, thank the Goddess. No matter what happens, I am not finished yet. Not with this life and not with these men.

  His power warms me like the feeling of the sun on your face after weeks of winter. It doesn’t consume, it seeks. Testing me and seeing if I’m whole and unharmed. Gently, he helps me to sit and rest against the base of this new, god-touched tree. And now I’m having deja vu, because this position is so similar to our very first encounter. In that cave. Where his fingers and the promise of pleasure kept me alive.

  “Brae,” I pull him to me, yanking his face to mine to kiss him.

  He falls into it with me, messy and raw and desperate. “I thought I had made peace with the danger,” he says, lips barely leaving mine. “But every time I almost lose you, I learn that I’m wrong.”

  Brae’s eyes are green, but they’re such a different green than Aeric’s. They’re deep and dark, and right now rich with emotion and pain. “You’re not going to lose me.”

  His hand comes up to cup my face again, along with his desperate kiss. “You can’t know that. But I’m going to fight like hell for you, even if I have to let you pour an entire world’s worth of magic into me.”

  The gentle touch of his lips and one stroke of his magic bring me to clarity, and it’s like stepping out from under cloud cover. I could have died. Would have died. “I couldn’t stop it,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.” My throat is thick with emotion.

  Brae pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me.

  “Don’t let me go.”

  He knows that I don’t mean with his arms.

  He is mine, and he’s still too far away from me. I need more of it and more of him. I need everything. I can’t feel him, and that is unfathomable to me. The bond between us is almost singing and it hasn’t even formed yet. “Do you feel it?”

  “Yes,” his voice is rough.

  My hands are shaking, still weak, but I reach for him, fumbling with his trousers. He’s already hard under my hands, and I am more than ready for this. I know what’s coming now, and I intend to savor every moment and sensation.

  Even standing, Brae keeps his hand on my cheek, runs his fingers through my hair. Those tendrils of connection forming between us tell me that he wishes we could be face to face for this. There will be time for that. I plan on having a lot of face-to-face time with him.

  The look of love on his face nearly knocks me back. My chest surges with pure emotion, and our magic entwines together before heaven touches my lips.

  Brae tastes like light. If that were a flavor. Brightness and shine and sweetness. Buttery yellow candy and hot summer days. A moan escapes me, and I suck him in deeper.

  He’s thick, and long, curving upward, tan and nearly golden like the rest of his gorgeous skin. There’s none of the nervousness that I felt with Aeric. I know what’s coming next, and I can’t wait.

  “Goddess, Kari,” Brae murmurs. Awe and adoration color his tone. I feel it too. I love the feel of him in my mouth and sliding against my tongue, but this is a whole new experience with him. Of course it’s about pleasure—selfless and pure—but it’s also about needing that bond with him the way I’ve never needed anything before.

  I crave that closeness and that knowledge. I crave the taste of him and his magic. I crave being able to tell exactly what he wants and makes him feel good.

  Every muscle in Brae’s body is tight and coiled. He’s braced against the tree above me, lips parted and eyes closed. I use my tongue, swirling it over the head of his cock and diving onto him before doing it again. His breath hitches, and I feel the swell of our magic together.

  For a moment, I focus on just the tip of him. Using my lips to seal my mouth around him create that suction that makes him groan. “Fuck.”

  Brae’s hips move, thrusting forward even though it feels like he’s desperately trying to hold back. If he wants more, I’ll give him more. Hell, so do I. When he pushes forward I take him in, nearly swallowing. Letting him fill my mouth all the way.

  He curses, using words and slang that I’ve never heard before when I release him to take a breath. And then I take him again. This time I don’t stop, rising up to angle him into my throat. The sensation of him entering me so deeply sends arousal and need and power through me.

  I hold myself on his cock as long as I can, working him with my throat, gripping his hips to keep him close. Dragging my tongue along his shaft, I catch my breath for a moment. But when I reach the tip and tease his underside—tasting the magic already leaking from his cock—I know.

  Now.

  Seal the bond now.

  I look up at Brae as I suck him fast and hard into my mouth, tightening my lips so all he can feel is me and the rhythm I set. Fast and not stopping, not until he spills everything he has on my tongue.

  Our magic spirals towards each other as if pulled by gravity. Spinning and twisting and melding together as one. Brae opens his eyes, and he doesn’t have to speak. I know. He’s there.

  Power explodes between us as he finishes, yelling his climax into the trees. Pure bright light. Gilded sweetness like tasting pure gold. I swallow it entirely, feeling the power seep into me and suddenly those bits of our magic that are spinning together merge. Into something new. Irrevocably changed.

  A little piece of my magic disappears into him at the same time that the bright spot of his settles in my chest. Right next to where Aeric’s magic lies, but so wholly different there’s no mistaking it.

  Brae pulls away, sinking to his kne
es in front of me. It’s like containing a bit of sunlight directly in my soul, and I ache with it. With the need to have him closer.

  He doesn’t need me to ask now—not when he can sense it. Our positions are reversed in seconds, with me straddling his lap while he reclines against the tree. Arms hold me close. But I’m holding him back just as hard.

  What I’m feeling from him is...everything. Shock and wonderment and gratitude. “I didn’t—” He cuts off. “I didn’t know it would be like this.”

  “Good?”

  He pulls my face up from where it’s pressed into his neck. “Amazing.” And then he’s kissing me. Just as desperately as before. More so, now that he can feel exactly what it’s doing to me.

  Sunny magic leaks from his mouth into mine, enhancing the flavor of him still on my tongue.

  “I didn’t plan that,” I say. “Obviously. I just knew that I needed you. Needed this.”

  He smiles softly. “You can’t plan for things like this. I felt it too.”

  It makes me wonder what the other bondings will be like. Sealing my bond with Aeric was about showing him the love that I feel for him—showing him his value and allowing him to realize how much I love him. Between Brae and I it spun itself for us, knitting us together in a way we didn’t plan and didn’t prepare for. Neither is better or less valid. Just different. I imagine the others will be similarly unique.

  Glancing around, I examine the curtain of flowers shielding us from the rest of the gardens. But not just flowers. Roses. New plants with as many varieties of the flower as are in that place in the market to get offerings. Copper and gold, violet, turquoise, gorgeous ombre and swirling ripples in hue. This came out of me. Out of the magic I was given. It’s beautiful. And terrifying.

  I tuck my head down onto his shoulder again. “Why did that happen? Why couldn’t I stop?”

  He pushes down the immediate worry that surfaces. “You’re still new to the use of big magic, Kari. And I’m not sure you realize exactly how big it is, what you did.”

  “I made a shield. I talked to Ariana. I made a tree. Yeah, that’s a lot, but I wouldn’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility for Allwyn or Cerys.”

  Fingers trace down my spine, and I arch into him, enjoying the goosebumps. “You didn’t just make a shield. You made an impenetrable shield. I’ve never felt anything like it. Nothing is getting through that. Hell, we’re probably going to get questions from the neighbors. I’d be surprised if the entire Court didn’t feel the magic that was coming off you. You were glowing just like when I found you at the temple.”

  He shakes his head, “And I have no idea where Ariana is, but you projected yourself to her. And she’s not close. That takes power. A lot of it. You’re not used to holding that much, especially when it’s not yours. Maybe with practice, but it would need to be careful practice.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “It didn’t hurt. I could feel that I was panicking, but that was secondary. You brought me back.”

  “I always will.” He kisses me softly again. “Always.”

  Leaning into the kiss, I run my hands over his shoulders and feel the way his body is reacting beneath mine. Yes.

  I gasp, jumping off his lap, reacting to the stinging sensation before I can see what it is. Then it happens again, like a splatter of fiery pin-pricks into my skin.

  Brae is on his feet instantly. “Kari?”

  “What is that?” It happens a third time.

  He places his palm on my cheek and closes his eyes. I wince when the next barrage hits, and Brae nods. “She’s testing the shield.”

  “That’s the shield?”

  “Wards that use your power are connected to you, so you can feel if anything happens. It’s how we knew that Kiaran was here so quickly.”

  Another, stronger sensation. Like someone has thrown a bucket of acid into the shield. I hiss, because it hurts. And yet it doesn’t. It’s all in my mind. “That’s annoying.”

  “This you will get better at quickly. New wards are more sensitive, and you’ll be able to tune out anything accidental or not important.”

  “Hopefully we won’t need it for too long anyway,” I mutter. “I told Ariana we would meet her tomorrow.”

  I can feel his surprise so strongly through the new bond, it resonates in my chest. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  He nods. “All right. We’ll make sure that we’re ready. Let’s get you back to the house before you collapse from exhaustion.”

  “You think?”

  The laugh that rings out through the gardens is loud and joyful, and my whole body lights up with the sound. “With that amount of magic, I’ll be surprised if you wake up in time to make meeting tomorrow.”

  I pout as he pulls me into the house. “But that means skipping our mating night.”

  Brae looks at me, dark eyes even darker with promise. “We won’t be skipping anything. Every night for the rest of our lives can be mating night.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  A weight like an anvil crashes down on top of the shield, and I lose my breath for a moment. “That’s going to be annoying.”

  “If all she does between now and tomorrow is attack that shield, then I’ll be grateful.” But now Brae is looking towards the front door. “Someone’s here.”

  Together, we walk into the entryway. Urien is speaking with a fae I don’t know. She has some kind of uniform on. It’s not a long conversation. Just a passage of a message from one to the other, and then she’s gone. “Anything interesting?” Brae asks.

  “Maybe,” Urien says. A shimmer of light comes from the piece of paper he was given, and he scans it quickly. His face goes slack with shock.

  “What is it?”

  Urien clears his throat. “There was a disturbance at the Heart of Allwyn. An earthquake. Not native magic.”

  The dread I feel coming off Brae nearly makes me ill. “Really?”

  “What does that mean?”

  Urien’s golden eyes focus on me. “The Heart of Allwyn is where Cerys is buried. A mountain where the remaking occurred. Her body is encased there. Preserved by her power.”

  Shit. That is bad.

  “Kari,” Brae says. “Where was Ariana when you saw her?”

  I shake my head. “It was dark. The most I could see was some rock that looked like it had been melted and frozen. You think she’s there?” That core of magic deep in my gut whispers yes, before either of them have the chance to speak.

  “Likely,” Urien says. “And if she is, what Kiaran said about her re-making the world carries more weight.”

  “Do you think she wants to resurrect Cerys?” Aeric asks, and I jump. I hadn’t seen him in the living room, lounging on one of the couches.

  “I’m not sure why she would want to do that,” Brae says, shaking his head. “But if that’s what she wants, it lines up with her stealing magic. And being fixated on Kari’s.”

  A tiny bit of tension releases from my shoulders, like a puzzle piece has clicked. After so much not knowing what kind of motivation she has, anything is good. Even if it is as dire as this.

  “Can you find out more?” I ask Urien.

  “Yes. I’m guessing they didn’t put too much detail in the message for good reason. I’ll see if there’s any information on Ariana I can find while I’m there. Without raising too many alarms.”

  Brae waves. “Use that Tiarne status for our benefit.”

  Urien shakes his head, but he’s smiling as he leaves. Aeric isn’t smiling. I can see the tension coming off him as much as I can feel it.

  “Give us a minute, Brae.”

  He melts into the background without saying a word, and I wrap my arms around Aeric. It takes him a moment to respond, but when he does he holds me tight. His feelings are shifting quickly, and I gather them all. He’s hurting and fighting the hurt. Trying to breathe through it and be okay, even though he’s not. He respects Brae and wants to be okay with it, even if he isn’t.

 
; “I didn’t plan it,” I whisper. “It just...happened. I knew it needed to happen. I’m—”

  “Don’t apologize,” he says quietly. “He’s your mate.”

  “You are too.”

  He smiles, but I can still see the pain in his eyes. “Yes, I am. And I love you.”

  “Still?”

  His kiss takes me by surprise. Ravenous and powerful. I melt against him, sinking into that control. He doesn’t have to say the words. I feel them in my chest. I love you. I love you. I love you.

  My knees are weak and shaking when he releases me, and not just from the kiss. Energy is pouring out of my body at an alarming rate, and Aeric catches me before I hit the floor. “I need to kiss you like that more often,” he says.

  “Smartass.” I say, but there’s no power behind the word. I’m entirely limp, and I don’t like the feeling.

  “Brae,” Aeric calls, voice echoing through the hall.

  There’s a moment, when one man passes me to the other. A silent acknowledgement of what this means, and the significance. Aeric is perfectly capable of carrying me to bed—he’s done it more than once in the past few days.

  But he’s choosing not to. Choosing to pass me to Brae, who’s cradling me in his arms now. They nod to each other, and for the first time I feel a sense of calm from Aeric about the situation. Good.

  But all I can do is send gratitude through the bond, because I’m already asleep.

  CHAPTER NINE

  ________

  KARI

  This dream is different. I can feel that right away. It’s not the murky darkness in which I usually meet Kiaran. This seems more real. Maybe it’s because I’m in a deeper sleep from all that magic? Maybe it’s just an aftermath of that.

  I’m standing in a cavern made of crystal. Or that’s what it seems like in the semi-darkness. There are facets of stone and molten flows of that same material. But this isn’t the Crystal Court. I know that, deep in my core.

  Where we are is familiar, and I could swear that I’ve stood in this exact spot. Except for the fact that I know I’ve never set foot in this place before.