Shameless: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 3) Read online

  Inside, I lift those words up like an offering from the Goddess. Right now I don’t care that I’m not her only mate, and I even though I know I will still struggle, my perspective has changed. She is irrevocably mine. The fact that she also belongs to others doesn’t change that.

  Tracing my fingers down the side of her ribs, I feel her shiver under my hand, and I feel the way desire uncurls in her, wanting more. Wanting me. “This is going to take some getting used to,” I murmur.

  “Yeah.”

  She’s staring at me like she doesn’t quite believe I’m real, and I’m right there with her. None of this feels real. But I’m going to take my time making sure that it is. “I want you in my bed tonight,” I say.

  Kari grins, and her eyes sparkle. “I’m in your bed now. Doesn’t that count?”

  I cover her body with mine, feeling the little gasp of breath that escapes her when she feels how aroused I am. Again. “It counts. But I want more.”

  “Yes,” she breathes. “Yes.”

  Slipping my hand beneath her neck, I tighten my fingers just enough to make her eyes go wide. “And this?” I ask.

  Kari’s cheeks tinge pink with a blush, but she nods. “With you…it feels right.”

  Satisfaction and pride expand in my chest. That more feral, more fae part of me is reveling in the fact that she feels safe enough with me to let go. To have me take control. But more than that, she’s right. The magic that flows between us is far more powerful when we slip into those roles.

  “When we’re alone,” I say. “You’re mine.”

  I let the statement hang between us, waiting for her answer. I want her to say yes. But even if she said no, it wouldn’t change a thing. Kari is my mate. Forever.

  She doesn’t speak for a while, still looking dazed and hazy and content. She uses the tips of her fingers to trace my jaw and then my lips. “What will that mean?” her voice is soft. “If I yield to you?”

  Something about the way she says it—about the word yield—tugs at my gut.

  “Nothing more or less than that,” I say. “When you’re in my bed, I’m the one in charge. You know I would never do anything against your will. I can’t.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you have a problem with me tying you down and making you scream, and then doing it again, just because I can?”

  Kari bites her lip while she turns crimson. “No.”

  “Good,” I say, kissing her softly. “Like I said, I don’t belong to the Court of Dominance for a reason. I don’t want you to be my submissive. I don’t want to give you orders to clean or rules about what you can wear or where you can sit or what you can call me. All I want is you to be mine to pleasure, however I decide that pleasure should take form. And if that means that I get a little more use out of the posts on my bed, so be it.” I can’t help the smirk on my face.

  She rolls her eyes, but I can feel in that space—that’s colored pale blue and violet, just like her magic—that she’s also amused. And then she smiles at me. “You know, I’m glad for more than just the bond.”

  “What do you mean?”

  It’s her turn to smirk, and the sultry way she lifts her hips into mine sends me straight to a place of desire. “I mean that now there’s one less cock I have to avoid out of sheer temptation to lick it. Especially now that I know that you taste like your magic.”

  I laugh. One that shakes free from my chest and rings through the room. “What does my magic taste like?”

  I feel her surprise and confusion. “You don’t know?”

  “To me it’s just my power. I never thought about what it might feel like to someone else. And I’ve never had anyone comment about its flavor.” The shy giggle that escapes her lodges in my chest. I’m going to remember that sound forever, and spend my life trying to get her to repeat it. “Tell me.”

  Kari shakes her head. “I don’t want to now.” The emotions I feel from her tell me that she teasing. Testing. Flirting.

  I reach out with magic, knowing that I can tease her into telling me. It’s easy to draw the tendril of power down her spine, and I savor the way she wiggles underneath me. “Tell me.”

  “What if it’s wrong?”

  I chuckle. “If it’s the way it feels to you, how is that wrong?”

  She scrunches up her nose. “I hate it when you make good points. But now I’m wondering if the same magic feels or tastes different to different people.”

  “I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

  Kari runs her palms along my shoulders. “Sometimes you’re mint. Sometimes it’s like Christmas—cinnamon and nutmeg. Sometimes it’s cardamom. But it’s always spices. Always green. Refreshing.”

  “That doesn’t sound too bad.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not. I love it.” I can feel her hesitance before she speaks again, a little friction in that space inside that’s now reserved for her. And when she speaks I know why. I’m the one that put that friction there. “I love all of your magics,” she says softly. “You’re all so different.”

  My hand is still on her neck, and I lift her face to mine, taking her lips in a kiss before I whisper. “I’m sorry, Kari. I know I already said it but I’ll say it again. Don’t be afraid to talk about the others with me. It’s my problem, and I’m the one who has to overcome it. But this,” I say, pushing the emotion of our bond towards her. “This helps.”

  “I’m glad,” she says. “I hoped that it would. And fuck it feels amazing,” she laughs.

  “I feel you here.” I push up so I can touch the space next to my physical heart. “And I’d never thought of magic as having a flavor, but I understand what you mean when you say it has color.”

  Kari’s face lights up. “Do I have one?”

  I nod. Finding the words to describe something like this isn’t easy. “It’s pale blue and purple. Like the color of human forget-me-nots, but made of light and heat.”

  “That’s pretty. It’s that color for me too, like the blue at the base of a flame. And the Goddess’s magic is all shimmer and gold.”

  I chuckle. “That makes sense.”

  It’s amazing how even breathing feels different now. Because every breath now reverberates between us. And even though her magic is more color than taste, I love the way Kari actually tastes, and I never have enough.

  “Tonight,” she says. “I look forward to that.”

  “I think we can start right now.” I sink down her body, soaking in the feeling of her pleasure echoing in my chest. It’s like having a brand new road map to her body, and I think I’m going to like memorizing the ways I can wring pleasure out of every part of her.

  Her body purrs and stretches when I trace the lines of her hips. A place to come back to. I’m so close to tasting her that my mouth is watering. In the same way that I can feel her pleasure, she can feel my desire—the all-consuming need to have the taste of sugar on my tongue.

  When I reach her she’s already wet. Glistening. Gorgeous and delicious. The sound Kari makes as I seal my mouth over her sends arousal shooting through me, and I don’t think any blood is left in my head. It’s all in my cock. The taste of her only makes it better.

  A discordant jangling of magic hits me in the chest, and I spring off the bed in one motion, instinct tearing me away from Kari. That was one of my wards echoing, like a hole had been ripped through it. But reaching out, it doesn’t seem damaged.

  “Aeric?” Kari’s looking at me, confused and worried.

  I hear the ringing sound of steel from elsewhere in the house, and raised voices. “Aeric! We need you.”

  That was Kent, knowing I would hear. Shit. Shit. Shit. I pull on my pants and grab the sword that I trained with this morning. “Stay here,” I tell Kari, though even as I’m running down the stairs I know that there’s no way in hell that she’s going to listen to that.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ________

  KARI

  What the hell? One minute Aeric’s mouth is on me and the nex
t he’s leaping off me like I suddenly have the plague. Something happened that I either couldn’t hear or didn’t notice, and the only clothes I had in here are lying in shreds on the floor.

  I can hear voices from downstairs, and they don’t sound happy. But I haven’t heard any screaming or maiming yet either. If he thinks that I’m not going to come see what’s going on, he’s out of his mind. No, I’m not fae, and no, I don’t have the years of fighting experience that my mates have. But I’m not the helpless girl I was either—not when I have Cerys’s magic burning in my veins.

  Quickly, I slip into my room and pull on some clothes—leggings and a shirt that’s within reach—before hurrying down to the main hall. My shield is firmly in place, and I pull up magic from the well in order to make it thicker.

  The scene when I round the corner makes me freeze. The men are spread in a loose circle in surrounding the main entrance, except for Brae. Brae has Kiaran up against a pillar, a wickedly long knife pressed against his throat. And he’s not pressing it gently either.

  “Told you,” Aeric mutters when I appear, and I just catch Kent rolling his eyes. In spite of myself I smirk. They know me too well.

  Urien looks at me. “Seems he was here after all. But I have no idea how he walked through the wards.”

  I look at Kiaran, and his eyes are locked on mine. We both know why, but he’s not stupid, and claiming to be my mate right now would only get him a knife through the throat. “I have a message for Kari, from Ariana. I’m not here to hurt her or take her. I may have gotten through the wards but you damn well know there’s no way I can get her out past them.”

  “Let him go,” I say softly.

  Kent steps to my side. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

  I look at Kent and raise an eyebrow. “We’re surrounding him, have him inside wards, and he has no element of surprise. You think there’s no way the six of us couldn’t contain him if he tries anything?”

  Brae chuckles, but takes a step back. He doesn’t relax his stance of put away his knife, but at least Kiaran has a little breathing room. “What’s the message?” I ask.

  “It’s only for you. Not them.”

  Verys laughs softly. “Not on your life.

  I watch Kiaran’s hands fold into fists, and I can tell he’s trying to restrain himself. Instinct—or the magic possessing him—is telling to fight back. But he won’t. Whether it’s because he’s my mate or because of my magic, I know that he’s telling the truth. That reality is sitting deep in my gut. “Yes, Verys.”

  He turns and looks at me with shock. All of them would if they weren’t so intent on watching Kiaran’s every move. Honestly, given what they currently know, I don’t blame them. Aeric’s words are practically a snarl. “We’re not leaving you with him.”

  I don’t really want to have this argument right now, not in front of Kiaran. I don’t know what he will pass back to Ariana against his will. So I step to Aeric’s side, and push confidence and ease through our bond to counteract the anger and fear he’s currently projecting towards me. And I like that I can feel his fear. Because I know that’s what’s driving him. Not wanting to ever risk losing me again.

  I speak so softly that I know no one but him will be able to hear me. “We’ve had no clue about her intentions and now she’s sending us a message. I need to hear it, and he’s not going to give it to me unless we’re alone. We’ve got him trapped. I know you don’t like it, but this has to happen. Test my shield if you’re that worried.”

  Immediately, there’re tingles of pale green magic scattered across the surface of the shield, testing and pressing. And in my chest I feel his grudging resignation, that this is the only choice.

  “You can take it out on me later,” I tell him, unable to resist adding a smile.

  I can feel the flare of his arousal, even though nothing changes on the outside. “Verys, Brae,” he says. “Outside the front. The rest of us will go out the back.”

  There’s a moment of hesitation before any of them move, but Aeric nods to them, and they slowly go. I’m sure he’ll be telling them what I said. I’m right, even if their instincts are screaming. Hell, my instincts are screaming too. Kiaran is dangerous, even if he is my mate. He’s powerful as hell, and if he changed his mind about what he wanted to try, I might not be able to stop him.

  That’s a risk that I have to take.

  I wait until they’re all out of sight and then some. They’re probably listening, but I keep my voice as quiet as possible. They’ll know what they need to know soon enough. Kiaran relaxes once they disappear, crouching down and running a hand through his hair before standing and pacing.

  “Coming here like this was stupid. You know that right?”

  “And they should know that trying to kill me is just as foolish.”

  I cross my arms. “They’re not going to kill you.”

  “The knife at my throat had me fooled.”

  Pulling in the range of my shield so that it’s closer to my body, I take a step towards him. “Why did she send you?”

  His face changes when I come near. Confusion and then pain. Kiaran’s body goes rigid, and then he looks at me. Jaw tight, his voice is almost strangled. “I can only remember sometimes.”

  My stomach drops to my toes. “Remember what?”

  Kiaran shudders, groaning. “Who you are to me.” He snaps back into that easy posture that I recognize, eyes lit with too much shine. It’s easy for me to tell when it’s not him. I can see the power and the mania that lies behind him when she’s in control. “You have one week, to come to her, and surrender yourself. At the house where you set the ambush.”

  I hesitate, pulled in between two different desires. I want to push her magic away and see the real Kiaran. I want to tell him that it’s all right. But I also know the last time we met that she would never stop, and if I don’t get enough information from him, I may never be able to truly see him.

  “One week or what?”

  The smile that comes across his face chills me to the bone, because it looks like her. “Or she will take your life apart piece by piece. If she can’t have the magic you currently possess, she will kill your mates and take it from them to accomplish her goals. Everything you love in this world will be taken from you, until none of them are left. And after you have nothing left, she’ll still come for you, because you have what she wants.”

  Goosebumps rise on my skin. I can almost hear her voice saying it to Kiaran in my head. The very particular wording of it. Until none of them are left. My mates. Everything to me and who I am now.

  I can hear her coolly and calmly declaring her intention to murder and torture. The ghost of pain and her magic surge over my skin, and I have to take a step back. Take a breath.

  I can feel Aeric’s worry at the same time that I sense he’s trying to project calm. I latch onto that. Imagine my mates’ hands on my skin so they’re grounding me the same way that they did in New York when I had my flashback. Slowly, air seeps into my lungs that doesn’t taste of orange and ash. “Why?” I ask him.

  “Why what?” It’s his turn to take a step forward, and he does, pressing himself up against my shield so I can feel him and his power. I should feel threatened. I don’t. I feel longing.

  I don’t have to hear the Goddess’s voice to choose this time. Inch by inch, I shrink the shield until it’s flush with my skin. Kiaran moves with it, until we’re separated by nothing but scraps of magic. “Don’t pretend you don’t understand the question,” I tell him, desperately trying to ignore the fact that I want to drop the shield.

  “Why does Ariana want you to surrender yourself?” His smirk is wicked. “I’m not allowed to tell you that. It’s a surprise.”

  Focusing, I imagine the golden, glowing shield that’s covering my body. I need to do this fast. I form a hole that’s just big enough, and push my hand through, catching Kiaran’s and winding our fingers together.

  It takes him by surprise, and the hiss of pain he le
ts out is followed by the manic, glittering light leaving his eyes. Kiaran takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Kari.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, releasing his hand. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “No,” he says quickly, grasping my hand. “Don’t let go. The pain helps keep me here.”

  The magic between us evaporates like it knows that I’m safe and that we need each other more than a shield, and then his mouth is on mine, followed by his groan of pain. He pulls back an inch, just far enough to speak and not far enough to let go. “She wants to remake the world,” Kiaran says. “Entirely. Completely. From scratch. And she needs you to do it.”

  “How?”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know. She hasn’t told me that.” I hesitate, unsure whether to believe him, but he grabs my arms, and I feel the sweep of blue magic from my dreams. “I swear it.”

  “I believe you.”

  This time his kiss is soft. Wandering. What a first kiss might feel like—testing the waters of something that’s new and precious. It resonates through my soul like a bell and leaves me aching for what we’re missing. I have to save him. I have to. That pull towards him is like a tide rushing outward—a yearning that I don’t have the power or desire to resist.

  He shudders again, and suddenly his hand is on my throat. That manic glint is back in his eyes, and dread pools in the base my stomach along with pure, icy, terror. She’s back, and he didn’t even have time to warm me. Kiaran’s mouth twists in an ugly smile, dark hair falling into his eyes. “One week, Kari, and I’ll see you again.” His fingers twitch tighter for a moment, and I see conflict in his expression before he turns and releases me. He strides out the front entrance without looking back. As if he didn’t just kiss me with a tenderness that I can still feel.

  It’s like I don’t exist to him.

  Right now, maybe I don’t.

  Fuck.

  I lean against the same pillar that Brae had him cornered against and sink down to the floor. I guess the ball is in our court now. At least partially.

  “He’s gone,” Brae says, coming inside. “Portaled out as soon as he was clear of the wards.”