Euphoria: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 2) Read online

  I notice the way her scars move when she smiles at me, and she reaches up to place a hand on my cheek. “Nothing you have ever done has made things worse, Verys. I chose this. I must live with the consequences.”

  Wrapping her in my arms, I truly hug her for the first time since I arrived. She feels smaller than I remember. Perhaps because it’s been so long, and perhaps because she has withered under Darran’s gaze. “I will come back,” I say. “I will come to the Court to see you. I’m sorry that I stayed away so long.”

  “Don’t you dare do it again,” she says. “And when you return, bring Kari with you. She’s lovely, and I would still like to know my new daughter.”

  Her words take my breath, and suddenly I’m fighting unexpected emotion. She embraces me again. “The Goddess has placed you on this path,” she says. “See it through to the end.”

  “I will.”

  She pulls herself back gently. “Now go. He will not be far, and your mate has already left. No doubt he will return sooner than you expect.”

  “I’m sorry, Mother.”

  She shakes her head. “Never be sorry. Not for this.”

  There is nothing left to say, and I cut a portal back to the Carnal Court through the air. I step through it, and as I look back Siona waves her hand in farewell. Exactly as she said I see Darran stalk into the room as the portal is closing, equal measures of satisfaction and fury on his face. He got what he wanted—me gone. My one consolation is that the vows my mother swore to him protect her too. He cannot cause her true harm when she is bound to him the way she is. It would cause him pain, and if there’s one thing Darran cannot stand it is his own pain.

  I’m standing in the entry to the mansion at home, the wards pulsing behind me. This is where I’m meant to be. I’ve never felt that underlying sense of rightness that I felt as a child in the Lunar Court. Not until now, anyway. I’ve embraced the magic, and so in return the Court has embraced me.

  When Darran burst into that room, I felt my heart drop into my feet. I expected everything that he said and more. It’s nothing that he hasn’t already said to me in the past. But seeing the way he looked at Kari, at the other men, I felt power and fire that I never have before. I used to crave Darran’s forgiveness, and thought that simply letting him do as he wished might make him see that I was not the monster that he made me out to be. But you cannot argue with a person like that.

  He has long since made up his mind what to think of me, and I can live with that. But I will not stand by while he hurls abuse at my family. My mate.

  Everything in my mind was so clear in that moment, and it feels good. Like long a long overdue relief from a weight that’s been sitting on my shoulders. I feel truly whole for the first time in recent memory. Thank the Goddess.

  Everyone is in the main living area when I enter the house, talking quickly. “What’s happening?”

  Kari launches herself off the couch at me, and I catch her in my arms. Her arms are locked around my neck, and the worry is bleeding off of her like rain. “I’m fine,” I whisper. “Better than fine.”

  “I’m so proud of you. But is Siona all right?”

  “She will be for the moment. We’ll be going back to see her soon enough, without Darran.”

  She buries her face in my neck. “Good.”

  I kiss her hair, inhaling the floral scent of her. Every time I hold her in my arms I can’t believe that she’s mine. Over her shoulder, I glance at the others and raise my eyebrows.

  “Kari’s…explosion yesterday was felt here,” Brae says.

  That’s further than I even thought possible. “People are asking questions?”

  “Yes,” Urien says.

  Aeric is calmly sharpening one of his most vicious knives. So there’s no doubt that Ariana knows. If we’re going to spring the trap, it has to be soon. It’s to our benefit that she thinks that we’re panicked and hiding Kari from being exposed with so much magic.”

  I look to Urien again, who’s leaning against a column with a massive sword strapped to his back. “The Rialoi? They are informed?”

  “They are.”

  “What’s stopping us then?” I ask.

  Kari is the one who speaks. “We were waiting for you. And also I’m nervous.”

  Setting her on her feet so I can look into her eyes, I brush back her hair. “You can do this. Anything is within your grasp, and we will not be far away. You only have to hold on long enough for us to get there. That’s all.”

  She takes a deep breath in, and I see the confidence that my words hold take root. “Okay.”

  “I’d rather do this sooner than later,” Brae says. “The faster we get there, the sooner it is over.”

  “Agreed.” I’ll be happy to put this episode behind us where it belongs. I look down at Kari. “Are you ready?”

  She nods. “Got armor and everything.”

  “Then let’s go,” Aeric says. “Verys, grab your weapons. We’ll get the portal.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  ________

  KARI

  The place that they’ve chosen to set this trap is stunning. A mansion fit for the Rialoi that occasionally occupy it, it’s a perfect example of the beauty of the Crystal Court. The entire mansion is formed from what looks like wood, but it is carved to mimic it. The amount of craftsmanship is truly stunning.

  When we arrived through the portal, the guys fanned out and checked every crevice of the building, and I tried to help, expanding my magic to feel for anything out of place. But there’s nothing. If we weren’t here for a very specific purpose, I could spend hours exploring this place and looking at the intricate carvings and inventive furnishings that have been created from every kind of crystal.

  As it is, I’ve settled myself in the gargantuan main hall, where an emerald chandelier overhangs a table formed of one large black and white agate. The fireplace at the end of the room keeps things bright and warm as the light fades. I’m alone here now, the men having fallen back to positions far enough away that they’ll be able to hear me scream, but not so close that Ariana will be able to sense them when she comes. It’s going to be a delicate balance of my holding out against her and giving them enough time to arrive.

  They hate this as much as I do. The way they kissed me hard before they closed the door behind them is proof enough of that, but no one said it. We can’t think about the possibility of failure. We’re already all nervous enough.

  I don’t know how long it will take for Ariana to arrive. We portaled very publicly in front of the mansion and outside the wards so that she would know where we were going. But she is smart and has been one step ahead of us. She may take her time. But I don’t sit, choosing to walk small circles, clockwise and counter, around the table. I don’t want to be caught off-guard. Never again.

  My shield glitters visibly around me, power continually flowing to it from me. I barely have to think about it now, but I still do my best to concentrate and to keep it strong.

  Hours pass. I have to rebuild the fire more than once, and by the time the bright is starting to lighten the sky again, my eyes are gritty with lack of sleep and I’m yawning. It’s been truly a long time since I’ve pulled an all-nighter, and I’m not a nineteen-year-old college student anymore. I’m not built to be awake for more than a day at a time.

  The caress of magic is so soft against the shield, that I almost miss it. It’s gentle and testing. Barely a brush, but it’s there. I only have time to look in that direction before the force of the wave hits me and knocks me sideways. The shield is up, but barely. I pour more power into it and get to my feet, staring into the darkness.

  That’s not Ariana.

  A sharp smile forms in the darkness, and my heart leaps into my throat and stays there. It’s him. The fae male that attacked me. My sixth mate. He’s dressed entirely in black, fitted pants and a shirt that make him look like night incarnate with his dark hair and eyes. Blue-tinged power rolls at his fingertips, sharpening and lengthen int
o something wicked. “Hello, Kari,” he says. That voice is resonant. It echoes off the walls of the room and vibrates through my chest.

  My body responds to him even though I don’t want it to. My soul knows him, knows he’s mine and wants to hear that voice when it’s in the throes of passion and commanding my pleasure. Not trying to kill me. But he is trying to kill me. Focus, Kari. “What’s your name? Since we keep meeting like this.”

  He makes a mock bow. “Kiaran, at your service.”

  Kiaran. I roll his name through my mind. Why has Allwyn bound me to him like this? The goddess said that both she and the land make decisions that are in the best interest of Allwyn and it’s people. Always. “Ariana?” I ask.

  “Sends her regards, but you’ll see her soon.”

  I swallow, to try to keep him talking. “Too afraid to come herself?”

  One side of his mouth tips up into a vicious grin, and he begins to circle me. I move in the opposite direction maintaining our distance from each other. “Too smart to fall for your little trap. She knows your precious men would never leave you alone on purpose.”

  “So she sends her guard dog to kill me?”

  “That would be easier,” he says. “But no. Ariana wants you alive.”

  “Why?”

  He shakes his head. “You’ll have to ask her.” And then he lunges. The spears of his power collide with my shield at the same moment I throw a blast of power out towards him. The force of his magic nearly makes me drop to my knees. I should have thought of this. Should have remembered. This is the fae who ensnared four of my mates with his magic and still had enough power to move and fight. My skill isn’t a good match for this.

  Another meteoric crash of blue fire whips around me, and I feel for a moment like I’m underwater in an infinite sea, and the recognition makes me lose my focus. The dreams are him. He and I together, if only for a moment. That’s his magic that I felt and wanted more of. I had thought that it was just a dream. Something my brain made up. Echoes of all the magic flinging itself around inside me.

  No.

  I was dreaming of—longing for—my mate.

  Goddess, why?

  Power rushes up through me and out, barely managing to blunt the edge of his next attack. “You’re not doing a very good job of making me think that you don’t want to kill me.”

  “I can’t take you if I can’t get to you,” he says, smirking, though he’s breathing as hard as I am. “That’s an impressive shield for a human.”

  The moments he’s standing still and talking are a blessing. I reach for more magic, letting it fill my fingers and bolster my protection. He sees it and slowly shakes his head.

  “It would be easier, Kari, if you just gave up. I’m going to take you, no matter how long it takes to wear down that magic. We could save ourselves some time and just give in.”

  “So you can deliver me to a madwoman intent on torturing me and using me for Goddess knows what? No thanks, I’ll pass.”

  Can the fae men feel the magic that’s happening in here? Why haven’t they come? I scream at the top of my lungs. I can hold out, but not forever. Not against this kind of battering ram.

  Kiaran narrows his eyes. “Close enough to hear your call? Figures. But they won’t be a problem, I’m sure.” He jumps, driving a wedge of power down into the shield above me, and I feel it in my chest. Fuck. “What did you do?” I ask, voice rasping with the effort.

  “Did you think that Ariana would send me alone?” Another crack of power directly down on my head, and I stumble, struggling to fill in the fissures he’s making in the shield. Are they all right? Are they fighting? I can’t breathe, realizing that one of them might be dying and I would not know it. If I had sealed my bonds with them, hadn’t been so afraid of it, I’d know if they were in trouble and they would know what’s happening here.

  In one heartbeat I’ve made the decision that if I make it out of here, I’m sealing the bonds. All of them. When it feels right. But I don’t want to feel like this ever again.

  Kiaran’s magic slips over my shield, completely encircling it. Every inch of it is covered like a glove, and it squeezes like a boa constrictor. I push back, but it feels like I’m drowning in it. “Please don’t do this,” I say, backing away, hoping some physical distance between us will help. It doesn’t. He’s not going to hurt me. He needs to deliver me. All he needs to do is wear me down. One crack, and it’s finished.

  I call out again, hoping that they’ll hear me. But my voice echoes off the walls of Kiaran’s power. When he speaks it’s just slightly muffled—the way he and I sound in our dream—like he’s underwater. “That’s enough, Kari.” The magic constricts, and I give in just a touch, bring the shield closer to my body.

  “No.” Stretching my arms out to either side, I start to pray. Please please please please. Help.

  But the answer isn’t the one I hope to hear. It’s the voice I’ve heard before, with the same message.

  Choose.

  Choose what? I beg.

  Choose.

  Kiaran is holding his hands in front of him like he’s got a ball between them, fingers outstretched, and I watch as he compressed them, and the force of his magic grows, squeezing my shield even smaller. And smaller still. I reach down into the depths of this golden spring inside me, and I unleash the power. The shield expands for a moment, and I know that I can break through it. I can blast him away from me. I can escape. But I can feel the amount of power in my hands, and as my awareness expands, I can feel him just the way I felt the others on the mountain side.

  He will not see it coming—does not imagine that I contain the multitudes of magic that I do. I can release this power now, and I will win. But he will die.

  Choose.

  Familiar fury rises in my chest. How can you ask me to do this?

  I can still try to hold out. There’s nothing saying that I have to give in. But I have to make this choice. Fight back or hold on. It’s another knot in the strings, infinite possibilities branching forward. Twisting away from me and waiting for me in this moment.

  I’m sorry. That last is not to the goddess. It’s to my mates fighting outside who don’t know. I swallow the power back down, funneling it into my shrinking shield, and Kiaran smiles. He felt the power, and he felt me give it up, and thinks that I’m letting go. He has no idea.

  “You could have made this easy,” he says, crushing his hands together.

  My shield shatters under the force of his magic, and I’m driven to the ground with the force of the blow. Instantly, he’s on me, hand at my throat, face close to mine. That face is twisted in ugly victory, and then it’s not. The moment his hand touches my skin he hisses in pain and flinches back.

  His face changes. The evil taint in his eye falls away, and he nearly collapses on top of me. He’s holding his hand, and when he pulls himself upright, cradling his hand, he looks like a completely different person. “No,” he whispers, looking at me in horror. “No, you can’t be.”

  He doesn’t make a move to stop me as I scramble away from him. My power is back under my grasp, and I bring the shield back in full force. “What the fuck just happened? Why do you look different?”

  “You’re my mate.”

  I’ve never heard such anguish in a voice, and I can’t lie. “Yes,” I breathe.

  “Please, no.” I don’t think he’s speaking to me. “I’m so sorry, Kari.”

  “You didn’t answer my question. What the fuck just happened?”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t have time to explain. Not fully. But her power—she is in control most of the time.”

  Touching me released him from whatever hold she has on him. He stands and takes a step closer, and I take one back towards the wall. “I won’t hurt you,” he says, voice fervent.

  “Yes, you would.”

  “Not if I truly have a choice.” This time when he takes a step forward, I let him. To the edge of the shield. “And when she’s there, I don’t.”

&nb
sp; “Do you know why she wants me?”

  “She needs your power,” he says quickly, hands shaking at his sides. “Especially now that she’s realized that you have more than she thought. Magic that isn’t yours. She was just going to kill you—a loose end. But you’re more valuable alive.”

  “Why?”

  He shakes his head and tries to approach but the shield holds him back. “She hasn’t told me. Or if she has I don’t remember, but she’s not going to stop. She will go to any length, Kari.”

  We’re at a stand still, and he’s blocked away from me. Slowly, he places a hand on the barrier, and I reach out with my power. I feel no threat from him right now. “I want to touch you,” he says. “Just once.”

  There’s the echo of the Goddess’s voice in my head. Choose.

  Slowly, I let him through, and he crosses the distance between us. He’s beautiful. Dark and brooding, all sharp angles and the scent of water. He reaches out with his fingertips to brush my cheek, and again he hisses in obvious pain at contact with my skin.

  But that doesn’t stop him as he reaches out and pulls me into a furious kiss. He groans in pain, but to me this is anything but pain. This feels like a brand on my soul. Now that I know the taste of his lips and the wash of pure blue magic over me, I’ll never be able to forget it.

  Kissing him feels like taking the first breath after surfacing from being under the ocean too long. It feels like breathing even though he’s stealing my breath. His fingers tangle in my hair, gripping it to the point of pain, and he pulls away with a moan. “I hurt you,” I say.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I thought my mate was another,” he says, and the raw grief on his face is something I won’t be able to unsee. Suddenly he goes stiff, and then his body relaxes. I see the change in his face, though it’s not complete.

  “She’s coming back?”

  “Yes.” He nods, forcing the word out, hand growing even tighter in my scalp, and I can’t breathe.

  I lift my chin and look him in the eye, focusing on the deep blue color and not on the way his body is pressed against mine, cradled perfectly. “Kiaran. Do you want to hurt me?”